Detour from Life

The captain had turned off the warning sign for the seat belt. The air hostess' mellifluous voice was echoing in the plane as if she was a pianist playing a violin for herself in a gigantic mall. I was travelling, once again, from one town to another, on the auspicious night of Diwali. I had to attend a conference call with one of our US clients and a very important meeting the next morning. I could not summon the courage to inform my parents that at the night of Diwali, their son would be just two hours away taking a call with strangers from a room in a five-star hotel.

I looked down and the brightly lit buildings reminded me of my house back in my hometown. It must be beautifully ornamented with twinkling lights and floating candles, I thought.

"Would you like vegetarian or non-vegetarian?" The air hostess' voice brought me back to the plane.

She questioned again, "Sir would you like vegetarian or non-vegetarian?"

I couldn't respond. I wished if I could place my order at an altitude of 35000 ft. I wanted to eat poori, rajma, curd and some pickle made by my mom.

I asked her, "You didn’t go home on Diwali?"

"Not everybody is as lucky as you are. At least, you will reach your home on Diwali." She replied.

She went away, leaving me thinking what a home felt like. I had stayed in so many hotels in past few years that when I went back to my hotel room, it almost made me feel like home. There wasn't much difference after all. The paintings on the wall kept changing but the bed side lamps were equally beautiful. The same 42" LCD TV and a king sized bed. The breakfast table situated next to the window would ask me every morning what would I have for breakfast. Wasn’t everything the same?

At the time of disembarkation, the air hostess said, "Sir, wish your family a very Happy Diwali!" I switched the phone on and found nine missed calls, six from office and three from home. I called the office first and told them to arrange the call in an hour and a half. Meanwhile, papa called again. "Where are you son? We have been waiting since long."

"I have an important meeting, papa. I am afraid I will not be able to make it this time." Papa went silent. I could hear my family's laughter and the sound of fireworks in the background.

Miles away from the liveliness of my home, my taxi was trudging quietly on a lonesome road.  I never realised when I alienated myself from the world. I had been an island for so long that intimacy scared me away. It never dawned upon me that I traversed the globe with a mask on. I was apprehensive of taking the mask off, perhaps was scared of facing myself.

The taxi drew up at the front gates of a grand hotel. A huge swarthy guard with imperial moustache opened the taxi door for me and said, "Welcome back sir. Happy Diwali!" I fumbled around in the back of the car seat. The driver asked, "Sir, are you looking for something?" I said, "Yes, Myself."

The town looked exquisite from my room. I opened my laptop and waited for the phone call. Meanwhile, in an effort to pull up a presentation from 'My Documents', I clicked on 'My Pictures' instead. There was a five-year old 'me' walking down the road holding papa's index finger, my right hand pointed to an ice-cream vendor; everybody eating pop corns by the lake at Nainital; papa driving our first ambassador car; me dressed in a superman's costume for a fancy dress competition, maa-papa standing together with Taj Mahal in the backdrop; maa draped in a beautiful red sari on Karwa-Chauth; papa hugging me on my graduation day.

My phone rang but I could not separate myself from those pictures. I wanted to eat pop corns by the Naini Lake once again. I pined for a break from myself. My phone was ringing feverishly. I was in the car again; I had to rush for an urgent meeting. The vivid recollection of my childhood, my college days, and our family vacations made me restless.

Everybody was having snacks after Diwali Pooja when the door bell rang. Papa opened the door. He didn’t register for a second and then exclaimed, "Oh my God! What a pleasant surprise!" It was me. I had reached home on Diwali... to attend an urgent meeting. I also had to relay the air hostess' message, remember!!

Wish you all a very Happy Diwali!!

My Favourite Pastime

Library is my favourite place. Whenever Dudette is not around to read a story to me, I come here and spend a great deal of time contemplating which book to read...

Then I think a little harder...

Then I take a nap leaving the reading to some other day...

Desperate Measures

The sky was dark and void. The black hooded figure crossed a dark deserted alley which led itself to a dusty, unmetalled road. Flanked on both sides with bushes and shrubs, the road was strewn with pebbles but she didn’t seem to be bothered. It appeared as though her determined steps knew their way forward. The relentless chirp of crickets made the night less still. Far away in the distance, he was targeting her and she could sense it too but it no longer mattered to her? She had to take that risk. She knew he wouldn’t give her much time but she wasn’t scared at all. Though she could feel some moisture on her forehead and at the tip of her nose but it was due to humidity in the air. The undue exhaustion was wearing her down, her knees were wobbling and her heart was sinking, yet she was waiting for him in anticipation.

He had discovered her identity a few months ago. Though she was a vampire but she was better than a human. He had learned that she never traded her soul for blood. Every new moon she needed blood to keep herself alive but she had never preyed on an innocent. The years of practice helped her channel her urges. She would only kill morally bankrupt mortals who slaughtered others for fun and would do so barefacedly over and over again. He adored her for ridding the society off the real monsters.

For the first time when he walked up to her doorsteps, he didn’t say a word, instead handed her an envelope and walked away. The envelope contained a note which read, “Need a friend?” and a few pictures of her in action. It didn’t take her long to understand that like everybody else, her clandestine activities were not a secret to him. He had taken his time to understand her lifestyle and her way of working.

She wondered that despite being a human, he was ready to be with her but letting somebody into her life meant jeopardizing her own existence. Accepting his proposal, on the other hand, ran the risk of exposure. So she decided to explain the perils of this friendship to his own life but he didn’t seem to care.

He brought a little excitement, a breath of fresh air in to her dull life. Ever since she was turned into a vampire, she found herself devoid of any emotions. She never felt a hint of pain or sorrow, nor did her heart feel any joy. She mostly feigned normalcy so as to blend in and to keep from standing out. But he changed everything. He filled her with a strange emotion. She was lost and empty, yet full of everything. She was restless and looking for him everywhere. He was the only one who gratified her urges. She found his occasional appearances intoxicating. Every time he came around, she found herself staring at him from the distance. His fragrance would rejuvenate her senses. He made her realise what she had been missing. She soon figured that he was equally fond of her for he kept watching her but was too proud to bare his feelings.

One night when she was sitting on a chair by the huge glass window in her room, watching the storm roll in, she noticed a shadow wandering around in her lawn. When she reached there, he turned around and went away, leaving his partially burnt cigarette behind.

Six months had gone by but he didn’t show up. Passion had made her face pale ivory. It was the new moon again and the urge was taking control of her. She walked towards the broken bridge where he smoked. But before she could reach there, she was shot with a wooden bullet. He had warned her not to step out that night. Like him, somebody else had figured about her but failed to understand the justness of her actions. He came running for her, knelt down, lifted her head and kept it on his knees. His eyes were moist.

“You shouldn’t have done this? I left you a note not to leave home tonight.”
“I know. But that note meant that you were watching over me. It was the only way for me to find you. Where did you go? I wanted to meet you.”
“By risking your life?”
“It was worth it!!”

I understand...

He flung his blue ball at me but I missed it narrowly. He tried again with the same fervour but I missed it again. I felt bad for letting him down so I apologized to him for my incompetency. I explained that I am unable to run or bend forward due to the fracture. He nodded assuringly but I am sure he couldn’t make head or tails of the conversation for he is too small to understand what ribs are.

Though Frosty is very intelligent but it takes some time for him to get a hang of complex matters. For example, it took me two days to make him understand what part of our house is called kitchen and why he is not welcome in there. It took us further two days to understand when he sits outside the kitchen looking at the ceiling, it means he is hungry. The other day when he licked my feet immediately after I had a bath, I learned that he liked the fragrance (or the taste) of my foot cream. I told him that his licking my feet irritated me but he didn’t get it. So one day, I offered to apply the same cream on his hands but he opted out. I hope you understand now why ‘body structure and ribs’ will be a complex topic for him.

He has seen me sitting in a recliner throughout the day. He has also seen me sleeping, sitting in my bed propped up with pillows. He understands that something is wrong but he doesn’t fully understand the gravity of the problem.

He had come to meet me at the hospital but they didn’t let him in. Perhaps they were afraid that he might catch on some infection since he is still a baby. But he told them that he was not a baby any more and it was his responsibility to check if I was comfortable or if I needed anything. He tried to explain how important it was for him to see me once but they gave him a cold shoulder. So he came back home and waited for me eagerly.

The day I came back home was the happiest day for him. He jumped on me when I entered the house but my father caught him midway and explained to him that I was not strong enough then to hold him for a few days. He nodded but not before telling me that he jump waited jump for jump me jump so jump desperately jump. He was glad that I was home. Jump."

Next time when I went to the doctor for a review, he kept sitting in the balcony until I returned home safely. I asked him if he had become a pessimist or had lost faith in me but he shook his head. Then I asked him why was he jumping then? And if he thought that I would not return home? And if he thanked his stars when he saw me. He didn’t reply, instead he brought me a book and sat next to me for next couple of hours.

That very moment, I realized that this cute little animal doesn't share the same protocol but he certainly understands and cares more than a human being. Perhaps he is closer to God than I can ever be because he can listen to 'His' voice which I tend to ignore sometimes. 

Pointless Madness

“Did you ever think about life as a metaphor for television?” Chuck Palahniuk.
I think it holds true in modern times since watching television has become the only source of entertainment for most of the families across the globe.

A couple of months ago, I visited one of my newly wedded friends in Mumbai. I was astonished to find how important the television was for their existence. Their typical routine included, having breakfast together with the television, husband leaving for work around 11 am, wife watching the television throughout the day, husband returning home by 10 pm, having dinner together with the television and then watching the television till 2 am. Even my presence could not alter their routine. Clearly, the television was an integral member of their household. In fact, I felt that they married each other because they needed company to watch television. Now, every time I talk to them, I don’t begin my conversation with 'how they are doing' instead, I inquire 'how their television is doing.'

I have been fettered to a bed for a little over a week. No! I am not pregnant, virtually or otherwise!! A few days ago, I managed to escape a fatal accident with a couple of hairline fractures. As a result, I have been grounded until I recover completely. Since I am perennially lying down and my parents have also been complaining about my incessant reading, even in the ICU, I am trying to figure an alternate to entertain myself.

Drawing an inspiration from my friends, I tried dating my television for a couple of days. Thanks to Singapore Grand Prix that helped me get through Sunday. It was Monday, however, that caused me pain. I began my day watching 'Gattaca'.  

Now, if you have dated your television, even briefly, you would know that the movies that they broadcast on television are old but not old enough to be branded as 'classic'. So if you are a movie buff like me, you will soon realise that you have already seen most of the movies. Hence if the movie currently being aired was exceptionally good, you may take the pain to watch it again, else you may find yourself fumbling through the labyrinth yet again.

Then, I looked up to different news channels for the next couple of hours but one can do that for so long. Earlier, when I used to come home from work, I used to dedicate one hour to the news and that never seemed like a waste. However, I had to abandon this option as soon as I realised that they repeat the same news every hour.

Then, I called sitcoms and talk shows for my rescue. First of all, deciding on which show to watch wasn’t easy as it occurred to me that the timings for the shows being aired and the shows I watch don’t match. Perhaps this is so because I have been watching most of my favourite shows online and that way, I never needed to bother about the timing at all. I could pick up any show at whatever time it pleased. Eventually, I decided on a show but soon after it dawned upon me that the frequency and the duration of commercials was far more than the duration of the show itself. It turned my experience sour.
 
Presently I have turned to the tried and tested pastime. Reading books and solving crossword puzzles that is. While I continue to meander through the pointless madness, you have a good time out there.
Cheerio!

Marrying Anybody

'If you don't know what you want," the doorman said, "you end up with a lot you don't.' ~ Chuck Palahniuk

My mom strategically sat next to me and his mom next to my mom so I had to act shy but one can pretend for so long. With my chin slightly down, I managed to look at him through my eyelashes. He was a little low on confidence which led to an instant urge to play a rapid fire round with him but I dropped the idea thinking that he may not survive. It was also a little unnerving to have so many eyes fixed at me. His family's demeanour convinced me that I was the only woman who agreed to give their son a chance and it appeared that they were wondering if I will be generous enough to give a verdict in his favour. I didn’t see that happening though.

Despite the subtle music in the background, his silence was deafening so I opted to lead. All his answers pushed me to laugh and give him a piece of my mind but I had to resist that as well. Such tormenting was the setting.

I had no interest in enquiring about his work profile. I had done my home work. So I began with the most basic and the easiest question:

How do you utilise your spare time?
I sleep.
(How creative!!) Throughout the weekend?
Mostly. Actually during week days, I wake up at 6am and sleep at 11pm. So I catch up on my sleep during weekends.

That was still more than what I sleep but I figured he had no other hobby/passion in his life.

Do you like travelling?
Who doesn’t?

You don’t ask question in response to a question but he seemed oblivious to that.

I know people who prefer to stay indoors. Anyhow, what kinda places you like to travel?
Anywhere.
You mean 'anywhere'. Even to the remote areas of the Southern Sahara Continent. 
I didn’t mean that. I would like to go on a world tour. I like beaches.
Why bother the world to see a beach. Go to Goa or Kerala.
Honestly, he didn’t look like the types who love travelling and meet people to experience their culture.

Do you have interest in adventure sports or in general sports for that matter?
I am scared to take risk so adventure sports are definitely not for me. As for sports, I don’t religiously follow any. Just enough to keep conversations with friends and colleagues.
Not even soccer or cricket or tennis or grand prix.
Not really.
Even more interesting!

You don’t know what you're missing on then. I believe if you don’t take risk in life, you aren’t living your life really. But then again, to each his own.

Do you read?
That I do. I read newspapers to keep myself updated on the capital market.
OMG! You're so different.

You mentioned that you have no other hobby than to sleep. My bad!!
I read that much on my phone while travelling to work and I don't count it as 'reading'.

What do you love the most about yourself?
That I want to keep my life uncomplicated.
Wow! That was an intelligent one. You know, generally people like to screw their life. I am sure that’s what keeps them going. After all, you got to have some motivation to get past each day.

That reminds me, what motivates you?
Money.
(How clichéd!!)
Of course, what else can? My bad… again!

Is there anything you expect out of your life? Something you'd like to achieve.
Personally, I want to keep my life uncomplicated. Professionally, I'd like to continue with my current profile.
Again... so challenging!

Why do you want to get married?
For the same reason other people do… its time. My parents want me to settle down now.
By 'its time', you mean, age?
He gave me the “are you a dumb?” look.

I don’t understand the fixation about age when people decide to marry. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you gotta be physically, emotionally, mentally ready to commit to someone. How can age be a deciding factor?

So will you marry anybody your parents choose for you or you have any expectations from your prospective partner?
She should be friendly.
I am really friendly once you learn to worship me.

I was really impressed by his unique point of view (or lack of it). His life was so simple. Any friendly girl would be fine with him. In fact, I reckon it didn’t even matter to him whether he marries a woman at all, any friendly man would be equally fine with him. All he needed was a partner who was as dead as he was. I guess he never gave it a thought that he was living like a zombie.

He didn’t ask me any question except where I did my schooling. To which I wanted to say that I didn’t go to school at all. In fact, I used to sit outside the window of a classroom.

He could have chucked my questions back at me, if nothing else. I guess he lacked curiosity completely. I found him totally directionless who didn’t know what he wanted from his life. He could travel to anywhere, he was ready to marry anybody, and he had no specific goal in his life.

Instead his father asked if I was rigid about working post marriage.

That was perplexing. That’s a decision a woman should take. Entering into a relationship doesn’t mean I will have to let a part of myself be taken away. Taking on the responsibility of a relationship doesn’t mean one has to give up on doing the things one likes to do. Anyone in a relationship should have the freedom they want. Why will anyone lose their identity to a relationship? One should be honoured as an individual human being and not just as a partner or the "other half" of a relationship.

His mom, who was until now looking at me adorably, asked my mom if I had any physical ailments.
My mom should have asked if their son was suffering from AIDS.
Being a woman, I should be more concerned about his health. I pitied their line of thinking. Guess we are developing in the material sense but not evolving really.


“Hope to see you soon!” He said before leaving.
“Hope as soon as never!” I replied.

I guess it’s about time when my parents should understand that touching their feet, earning a handsome package, possessing good looks and having own property doesn’t qualify a man to be 'my' prospective life partner. It’s more important that he loves 'life', cherishes my chirpiness, is able to hold a meaningful conversation and most importantly appreciates 'me' as a person and doesn’t want just anybody.

Phew!! It was an exhausting experience. Let me grab some rest.

One Phone Call

When I completed my graduation, my father gave me my first mobile phone. He laid down only two rules:

1. I will take his call no matter where I am or how busy I am.
2. He should always be aware of my whereabouts. It shouldn’t come to him as a shock/surprise.

That was his way to discipline his children and I must say he did a fab job. I followed these rules, not out of fear, but out of sheer respect, throughout my life. After so many years, I now answer my phone even in deep slumber when I see as much as ‘Papa’ flashing on the screen. The only disadvantage of this rule is that sometimes my brother calls me from my dad’s cell when I don’t answer his calls. Once I took my father’s call at 2 'o' clock at night when I was deep asleep. I had taken a flight to Mumbai a few hours ago and had forgotten to intimate him of my safe arrival. He kept waiting and eventually called at 2am. I realized how difficult it is to be a parent, promised myself of not doing that to him again and went back to sleep.

A few days ago, I repeated the same episode, except that I was not on any flight. I was not even allowed to take any calls when my phone rang. My instructor stared at me and politely announced 'no phone calls please.' When I saw 'Papa calling' on my phone screen, I pressed the green button out of reflex and also dashed out the room telling my instructor that this call was more important than anything else. I informed my father that I was in a class where phone calls were not allowed and that I will be back at home in a couple of hours.

At home around 4pm:

Papa: So who were you talking to when you answered my call?

Me: My instructor.

Papa: Instructor? What for?

Me: I have joined dance classes.

Papa: That’s an interesting development. Why do you need to learn dance? You are a very good dancer yourself!

Me: Maybe but not when it comes to Salsa.

Papa: What is that?

Me: It’s a partner dance form and I have been willing to learn it for a long time.

Papa: Hmmm! What is it like? Can I see what you learnt today?

Me: I don’t think so... I will need a male partner for that. I will show you my video when I learn a complete sequence.

Papa: Why do you want to learn a partner dance?

Now, that was a question I didn’t have an answer for. So my utterly naughty brain thought of poking some fun.

Me: You are aware of the increasing number of divorces. People divorce each other for no significant reason. I don’t want my partner to divorce me just because I don’t know how to dance with his arms around me!!

I controlled my laughter and waited for his reaction.

He appeared puzzled for a moment and then managed to utter a few words.

Papa: Does that really happen? I wonder what this world is up to.

Me: You never know.

Papa: Alright! Wish you luck with Salsa or whatever is that!!