Privileges that we take for granted!!

I have been blessed to have born in a sovereign uncontrolled country, to have the right to study and to speak, a few privileges that I took for granted until I met her the other day.

Toefl was just a day away when she had run into me. She appeared edgy but it was baffling for me to see someone in a dither over a language test, especially a language we have been speaking since childhood. I tried consoling her that it was just a language test and all they test is the ability to convey our messages and comprehend others’ opinions successfully. Besides the level for a housewife isnt that high. It didn’t seem to calm her. She was also worried about her visa.

A little later, I was told that she was jittery owing to her past. She wasn’t as privileged to have normal education in her country. She came from Afghan where she witnessed people being butchered day in and day out. Her school friends were murdered in front of her and she had somehow managed to seek refuge in India just a few days ago. She was worried that she might be deported back to her country if she didn’t find a way to be with her husband in UK and Toefl was a prerequisite for that.

She told me that about a month ago, Taliban poisoned the drinking water in her school. When she saw her school friends dying of drinking the contaminated water, she was scared to death but had gathered enough courage to run away. A picture of a yellow school building with water taps at the other end came to my mind when she described the entire story to me. I could envision many small and middle-aged girls drinking water and falling unconscious within a few minutes. It was so disconcerting to hear the entire episode that I felt dizzy.

Though I have seen a few terrorist attacks, I have never been a victim to any. It also helped that none of the attacks have been detrimental to any of my dear ones. It was for the first time, I heard such a story first-hand. I could feel the blood pressure drop in my veins. But I didn’t know if there was anything I could do to change her past and to help the people currently battling the similar circumstances back in her country.

It was then all the privileges that have been bestowed upon came crashing down on me and led to an anguishing realisation that in some part of the world there are people who do not even have as much as the right to speak up or to get the basic education. There are people who are at someone else’s mercy to get a morsel of food and there isn’t much I can do to help.

Chemistry of Passion

Is love just a physical sensation, a soulful reaction to fate, or an emotional connection built by history? What is the difference between lust, love, and like? Loving vs. Being-in-love? 

I've been surrounded lately, by engaged friends. They look happy, relieved, worried, fearful, and excited. Some have been playing around like crazy, and then all of a sudden they stumbled upon somebody, and within 20 minutes, POOF! Off the market. Some have been holding back for a long time, and then finally got on their knees to the one they're with because, "it was time".

Then one couple told me, that she actually got down on her knees to him. Really!

So now I'm curious, how do you know it's time? When do you "Just Do It', and when do you hold on - what are you looking for? What is exactly the “Chemistry of Passion”?

Some people operate from lists, some people just Feel Something. What do you think most people do? What lasts longer? Getting someone who is the right choice, or someone you feel a passion for? How do the men choose?

1. He found a lady who fit his checklist - but the lady has a checklist of her own, he could not match both the checklists, so he had to give in.
2. He looked at his life and decided it was time - It wasn’t the time, it was lack of options, as too much of time was spent in understanding the one.
3. She decided to leave, so he got on his knees and proposed -- She was gonna leave any day… now, or after 15 years… so he had to get on his knees… today or maybe sometime in the future.. today seems to be the best day for all planets seem to be aligned.
4. He is in heat every time she comes around - The heat is both ways… he and she cover up the heat generated.
5. His parents and friends liked her - No comments on that
6. She makes him feel good, confident, like he can rule the world - and leaves when he starts ruling… pastures on the other side are always green.
7. He needs her for his business – wow! And I thought it was the other way round.

You spin my head right round right round till I go down on my knees :)

Somebody told me that they must be like the frogs of Sonoran Desert in Arizona. They stay underground 362 days of the year. When it finally rains for three days, they all come out at once - and due to the time limit, the rule is simple. Whatever is larger: leap away from, whatever is smaller: eat and whatever is the same size: mate with.

As per them, males too think in terms of season. There is mating season and then there is the time to plant a tree and father a son/toad/daughter and after a genetically fixed number of further mating seasons, it’s time to move on to greener pastures.

I believe that human beings connect on three levels: mental, emotional and physical.
The proportion of what one needs differs from person to person. Some need more emotional connections, while others fall for intellectual or physical qualities. That is why the process of finding somebody is probably unique. Some might feel comfortable spending a night together and then getting to know each other, while others will prefer to take time and need to get fascinated before the relationship will develop.

I would say lust is a physical desire without any mental or spiritual connection.
Love is a connection on three levels (in your own unique proportion).
Passion is something you feel when the mental and spiritual levels fit perfectly and you really want to belong to that person completely, without any borders, a desire to explore and discover all about that person.
Being in love is a nice feeling of finding some attractive features (need not be physical) in the other one and a wish to know more about that person.

In order to know if somebody is right or wrong for you, I guess you first have to be very sincere with yourselves regarding your own wishes. What do you want? What is important for you? What is the first step to attract your attention? Are you fascinated with the other person’s inner world or his/her looks?

And yes, like Paulo Coelho, I think there can be more than "one". The feelings and emotions evolve and change. I believe it is very important to know yourself very well and be completely sincere with yourself.

How do you know if that is "the one"? I believe you just know it. If it happens during the first minute or after ten years of being together depends largely on your character and your needs.

The best meetings in life in my opinion happen, when you stopped looking... Just enjoy every moment and all that life has in store for you will come your way.