“Did you ever think about life as a metaphor for television?” Chuck Palahniuk.
I think it holds true in modern times since watching television has become the only source of entertainment for most of the families across the globe.
A couple of months ago, I visited one of my newly wedded friends in Mumbai. I was astonished to find how important the television was for their existence. Their typical routine included, having breakfast together with the television, husband leaving for work around 11 am, wife watching the television throughout the day, husband returning home by 10 pm, having dinner together with the television and then watching the television till 2 am. Even my presence could not alter their routine. Clearly, the television was an integral member of their household. In fact, I felt that they married each other because they needed company to watch television. Now, every time I talk to them, I don’t begin my conversation with 'how they are doing' instead, I inquire 'how their television is doing.'
I have been fettered to a bed for a little over a week. No! I am not pregnant, virtually or otherwise!! A few days ago, I managed to escape a fatal accident with a couple of hairline fractures. As a result, I have been grounded until I recover completely. Since I am perennially lying down and my parents have also been complaining about my incessant reading, even in the ICU, I am trying to figure an alternate to entertain myself.
Drawing an inspiration from my friends, I tried dating my television for a couple of days. Thanks to Singapore Grand Prix that helped me get through Sunday. It was Monday, however, that caused me pain. I began my day watching 'Gattaca'.
Now, if you have dated your television, even briefly, you would know that the movies that they broadcast on television are old but not old enough to be branded as 'classic'. So if you are a movie buff like me, you will soon realise that you have already seen most of the movies. Hence if the movie currently being aired was exceptionally good, you may take the pain to watch it again, else you may find yourself fumbling through the labyrinth yet again.
Then, I looked up to different news channels for the next couple of hours but one can do that for so long. Earlier, when I used to come home from work, I used to dedicate one hour to the news and that never seemed like a waste. However, I had to abandon this option as soon as I realised that they repeat the same news every hour.
Then, I called sitcoms and talk shows for my rescue. First of all, deciding on which show to watch wasn’t easy as it occurred to me that the timings for the shows being aired and the shows I watch don’t match. Perhaps this is so because I have been watching most of my favourite shows online and that way, I never needed to bother about the timing at all. I could pick up any show at whatever time it pleased. Eventually, I decided on a show but soon after it dawned upon me that the frequency and the duration of commercials was far more than the duration of the show itself. It turned my experience sour.
Presently I have turned to the tried and tested pastime. Reading books and solving crossword puzzles that is. While I continue to meander through the pointless madness, you have a good time out there.
Cheerio!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Marrying Anybody
'If you don't know what you want," the doorman said, "you end up with a lot you don't.' ~ Chuck Palahniuk
My mom strategically sat next to me and his mom next to my mom so I had to act shy but one can pretend for so long. With my chin slightly down, I managed to look at him through my eyelashes. He was a little low on confidence which led to an instant urge to play a rapid fire round with him but I dropped the idea thinking that he may not survive. It was also a little unnerving to have so many eyes fixed at me. His family's demeanour convinced me that I was the only woman who agreed to give their son a chance and it appeared that they were wondering if I will be generous enough to give a verdict in his favour. I didn’t see that happening though.
Despite the subtle music in the background, his silence was deafening so I opted to lead. All his answers pushed me to laugh and give him a piece of my mind but I had to resist that as well. Such tormenting was the setting.
I had no interest in enquiring about his work profile. I had done my home work. So I began with the most basic and the easiest question:
How do you utilise your spare time?
I sleep.
(How creative!!) Throughout the weekend?
Mostly. Actually during week days, I wake up at 6am and sleep at 11pm. So I catch up on my sleep during weekends.
That was still more than what I sleep but I figured he had no other hobby/passion in his life.
Do you like travelling?
Who doesn’t?
You don’t ask question in response to a question but he seemed oblivious to that.
I know people who prefer to stay indoors. Anyhow, what kinda places you like to travel?
Anywhere.
You mean 'anywhere'. Even to the remote areas of the Southern Sahara Continent.
I didn’t mean that. I would like to go on a world tour. I like beaches.
Why bother the world to see a beach. Go to Goa or Kerala.
Honestly, he didn’t look like the types who love travelling and meet people to experience their culture.
Do you have interest in adventure sports or in general sports for that matter?
I am scared to take risk so adventure sports are definitely not for me. As for sports, I don’t religiously follow any. Just enough to keep conversations with friends and colleagues.
Not even soccer or cricket or tennis or grand prix.
Not really.
Even more interesting!
You don’t know what you're missing on then. I believe if you don’t take risk in life, you aren’t living your life really. But then again, to each his own.
Do you read?
That I do. I read newspapers to keep myself updated on the capital market.
OMG! You're so different.
You mentioned that you have no other hobby than to sleep. My bad!!
I read that much on my phone while travelling to work and I don't count it as 'reading'.
What do you love the most about yourself?
That I want to keep my life uncomplicated.
Wow! That was an intelligent one. You know, generally people like to screw their life. I am sure that’s what keeps them going. After all, you got to have some motivation to get past each day.
That reminds me, what motivates you?
Money.
(How clichéd!!)
Of course, what else can? My bad… again!
Is there anything you expect out of your life? Something you'd like to achieve.
Personally, I want to keep my life uncomplicated. Professionally, I'd like to continue with my current profile.
Again... so challenging!
Why do you want to get married?
For the same reason other people do… its time. My parents want me to settle down now.
By 'its time', you mean, age?
He gave me the “are you a dumb?” look.
I don’t understand the fixation about age when people decide to marry. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you gotta be physically, emotionally, mentally ready to commit to someone. How can age be a deciding factor?
So will you marry anybody your parents choose for you or you have any expectations from your prospective partner?
She should be friendly.
I am really friendly once you learn to worship me.
I was really impressed by his unique point of view (or lack of it). His life was so simple. Any friendly girl would be fine with him. In fact, I reckon it didn’t even matter to him whether he marries a woman at all, any friendly man would be equally fine with him. All he needed was a partner who was as dead as he was. I guess he never gave it a thought that he was living like a zombie.
He didn’t ask me any question except where I did my schooling. To which I wanted to say that I didn’t go to school at all. In fact, I used to sit outside the window of a classroom.
He could have chucked my questions back at me, if nothing else. I guess he lacked curiosity completely. I found him totally directionless who didn’t know what he wanted from his life. He could travel to anywhere, he was ready to marry anybody, and he had no specific goal in his life.
Instead his father asked if I was rigid about working post marriage.
That was perplexing. That’s a decision a woman should take. Entering into a relationship doesn’t mean I will have to let a part of myself be taken away. Taking on the responsibility of a relationship doesn’t mean one has to give up on doing the things one likes to do. Anyone in a relationship should have the freedom they want. Why will anyone lose their identity to a relationship? One should be honoured as an individual human being and not just as a partner or the "other half" of a relationship.
His mom, who was until now looking at me adorably, asked my mom if I had any physical ailments.
My mom should have asked if their son was suffering from AIDS.
Being a woman, I should be more concerned about his health. I pitied their line of thinking. Guess we are developing in the material sense but not evolving really.
“Hope to see you soon!” He said before leaving.
“Hope as soon as never!” I replied.
I guess it’s about time when my parents should understand that touching their feet, earning a handsome package, possessing good looks and having own property doesn’t qualify a man to be 'my' prospective life partner. It’s more important that he loves 'life', cherishes my chirpiness, is able to hold a meaningful conversation and most importantly appreciates 'me' as a person and doesn’t want just anybody.
Phew!! It was an exhausting experience. Let me grab some rest.
My mom strategically sat next to me and his mom next to my mom so I had to act shy but one can pretend for so long. With my chin slightly down, I managed to look at him through my eyelashes. He was a little low on confidence which led to an instant urge to play a rapid fire round with him but I dropped the idea thinking that he may not survive. It was also a little unnerving to have so many eyes fixed at me. His family's demeanour convinced me that I was the only woman who agreed to give their son a chance and it appeared that they were wondering if I will be generous enough to give a verdict in his favour. I didn’t see that happening though.
Despite the subtle music in the background, his silence was deafening so I opted to lead. All his answers pushed me to laugh and give him a piece of my mind but I had to resist that as well. Such tormenting was the setting.
I had no interest in enquiring about his work profile. I had done my home work. So I began with the most basic and the easiest question:
How do you utilise your spare time?
I sleep.
(How creative!!) Throughout the weekend?
Mostly. Actually during week days, I wake up at 6am and sleep at 11pm. So I catch up on my sleep during weekends.
That was still more than what I sleep but I figured he had no other hobby/passion in his life.
Do you like travelling?
Who doesn’t?
You don’t ask question in response to a question but he seemed oblivious to that.
I know people who prefer to stay indoors. Anyhow, what kinda places you like to travel?
Anywhere.
You mean 'anywhere'. Even to the remote areas of the Southern Sahara Continent.
I didn’t mean that. I would like to go on a world tour. I like beaches.
Why bother the world to see a beach. Go to Goa or Kerala.
Honestly, he didn’t look like the types who love travelling and meet people to experience their culture.
Do you have interest in adventure sports or in general sports for that matter?
I am scared to take risk so adventure sports are definitely not for me. As for sports, I don’t religiously follow any. Just enough to keep conversations with friends and colleagues.
Not even soccer or cricket or tennis or grand prix.
Not really.
Even more interesting!
You don’t know what you're missing on then. I believe if you don’t take risk in life, you aren’t living your life really. But then again, to each his own.
Do you read?
That I do. I read newspapers to keep myself updated on the capital market.
OMG! You're so different.
You mentioned that you have no other hobby than to sleep. My bad!!
I read that much on my phone while travelling to work and I don't count it as 'reading'.
What do you love the most about yourself?
That I want to keep my life uncomplicated.
Wow! That was an intelligent one. You know, generally people like to screw their life. I am sure that’s what keeps them going. After all, you got to have some motivation to get past each day.
That reminds me, what motivates you?
Money.
(How clichéd!!)
Of course, what else can? My bad… again!
Is there anything you expect out of your life? Something you'd like to achieve.
Personally, I want to keep my life uncomplicated. Professionally, I'd like to continue with my current profile.
Again... so challenging!
Why do you want to get married?
For the same reason other people do… its time. My parents want me to settle down now.
By 'its time', you mean, age?
He gave me the “are you a dumb?” look.
I don’t understand the fixation about age when people decide to marry. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and you gotta be physically, emotionally, mentally ready to commit to someone. How can age be a deciding factor?
So will you marry anybody your parents choose for you or you have any expectations from your prospective partner?
She should be friendly.
I am really friendly once you learn to worship me.
I was really impressed by his unique point of view (or lack of it). His life was so simple. Any friendly girl would be fine with him. In fact, I reckon it didn’t even matter to him whether he marries a woman at all, any friendly man would be equally fine with him. All he needed was a partner who was as dead as he was. I guess he never gave it a thought that he was living like a zombie.
He didn’t ask me any question except where I did my schooling. To which I wanted to say that I didn’t go to school at all. In fact, I used to sit outside the window of a classroom.
He could have chucked my questions back at me, if nothing else. I guess he lacked curiosity completely. I found him totally directionless who didn’t know what he wanted from his life. He could travel to anywhere, he was ready to marry anybody, and he had no specific goal in his life.
Instead his father asked if I was rigid about working post marriage.
That was perplexing. That’s a decision a woman should take. Entering into a relationship doesn’t mean I will have to let a part of myself be taken away. Taking on the responsibility of a relationship doesn’t mean one has to give up on doing the things one likes to do. Anyone in a relationship should have the freedom they want. Why will anyone lose their identity to a relationship? One should be honoured as an individual human being and not just as a partner or the "other half" of a relationship.
His mom, who was until now looking at me adorably, asked my mom if I had any physical ailments.
My mom should have asked if their son was suffering from AIDS.
Being a woman, I should be more concerned about his health. I pitied their line of thinking. Guess we are developing in the material sense but not evolving really.
“Hope to see you soon!” He said before leaving.
“Hope as soon as never!” I replied.
I guess it’s about time when my parents should understand that touching their feet, earning a handsome package, possessing good looks and having own property doesn’t qualify a man to be 'my' prospective life partner. It’s more important that he loves 'life', cherishes my chirpiness, is able to hold a meaningful conversation and most importantly appreciates 'me' as a person and doesn’t want just anybody.
Phew!! It was an exhausting experience. Let me grab some rest.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
One Phone Call
When I completed my graduation, my father gave me my first mobile phone. He laid down only two rules:
- I will take his call no matter where I am or how busy I am.
- He should always be aware of my whereabouts. It shouldn’t come to him as a shock/surprise.
That was his way to discipline his children and I must say he did a fab job. I followed these rules, not out of fear, but out of sheer respect, throughout my life. After so many years, I now answer my phone even in deep slumber when I see as much as ‘Papa’ flashing on the screen. The only disadvantage of this rule is that sometimes my brother calls me from my dad’s cell when I don’t answer his calls. Once I took my father’s call at 2 'o' clock at night when I was deep asleep. I had taken a flight to Mumbai a few hours ago and had forgotten to intimate him of my safe arrival. He kept waiting and eventually called at 2am. I realized how difficult it is to be a parent, promised myself of not doing that to him again and went back to sleep.
A few days ago, I repeated the same episode, except that I was not on any flight. I was not even allowed to take any calls when my phone rang. My instructor stared at me and politely announced 'no phone calls please.' When I saw 'Papa calling' on my phone screen, I pressed the green button out of reflex and also dashed out the room telling my instructor that this call was more important than anything else. I informed my father that I was in a class where phone calls were not allowed and that I will be back at home in a couple of hours.
At home around 4pm:
Papa: So who were you talking to when you answered my call?
Me: My instructor.
Papa: Instructor? What for?
Me: I have joined dance classes.
Papa: That’s an interesting development. Why do you need to learn dance? You are a very good dancer yourself!
Me: Maybe but not when it comes to Salsa.
Papa: What is that?
Me: It’s a partner dance form and I have been willing to learn it for a long time.
Papa: Hmmm! What is it like? Can I see what you learnt today?
Me: I don’t think so... I will need a male partner for that. I will show you my video when I learn a complete sequence.
Papa: Why do you want to learn a partner dance?
Now, that was a question I didn’t have an answer for. So my utterly naughty brain thought of poking some fun.
Me: You are aware of the increasing number of divorces. People divorce each other for no significant reason. I don’t want my partner to divorce me just because I don’t know how to dance with his arms around me!!
I controlled my laughter and waited for his reaction.
He appeared puzzled for a moment and then managed to utter a few words.
Papa: Does that really happen? I wonder what this world is up to.
Me: You never know.
Papa: Alright! Wish you luck with Salsa or whatever is that!!
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